Sunday, August 23, 2009

As Much as I Want To

It's funny how certain songs make you think of specific places or people. I drove down Ocean Parkway today to a pizza joint in Gravesend after our Bocce victory today. Passing by Cortelyou and then Foster brought back such a familiar feeling. I could imagine her in my car right next to me, I still have the same CDs in the player and it all came flooding back to me. I have to admit that now after everything I know, as much as I want to hate her, I don't feel anything but love for her. The three years we had were without question the happiest of my life since early childhood. I would never let her back into my life now; the trust is gone, but there is still love.

2 comments:

Cranky's Wife said...

I'd ditch the CDs

Capt. Fogg said...

Ocean Parkway memories.

Dropping little bombs made from kitchen matches 6 floors down, banging like a firecracker on the sidewalk in from of #71.

Vacant lot around the corner on Caton Place. Friend Howie and a rickety tree house and lots of ailanthus. The indoor lot with that big blue Buick convertible.

The way the elevator always smelled of oil.

Proud horses trotting down the parkway under the trees, tossing up little clods of humus with their hooves.

Me crossing the street holding my grandmother's hand.

Riding the Bus to the movies and not knowing how much the fare was, feeling like an outsider from the primitive midwest.

It never goes away.